The R.U.D Process®

A 3-step awareness tool

Notice what’s happening. Understand what you need. Find your next steady step. A simple, gentle way to understand yourself and build stronger, safer connections with the people you love. After a difficult conversation, for example, you might notice a tight chest, explore what the moment meant to you, then choose something that helps you feel steadier. For neurodivergent people, noticing and naming emotions may not always be straightforward. The R.U.D Process® offers different starting points—situations, nervous system states, stories and sensations—without requiring you to name an emotion first.

Step 1 · Recognise

Notice what's happening

Begin by noticing what happened, your nervous system state, the meaning you’re making, and your body sensations. You don’t need to name an emotion to start. Use the four S’s to explore positive experiences as well as challenging ones — no nervous system state is inherently “bad”.

Situation

What happened? • Start with what you observed, separate from what it meant to you. • Notice positive experiences as well as challenging ones.

State

What gear is your autonomic nervous system in? • Notice your automatic response with curiosity, not judgement. • Remember that states can change — none is inherently “bad”.

Story

What meaning am I making? • Notice the thoughts and interpretations you’re adding to the event. • Separate what happened from the meaning you’re making.

Sensations

What am I noticing in my body? • Begin with the physical sensations you can notice right now. • Describe what you notice without needing to name an emotion.

Step 2 · Unravel & Understand

Explore the story beneath

Once you’ve noticed what’s happening, gently explore what brought you here. Think about both difficult and positive experiences. These three questions can help:

What got me there?

The moments that shaped how you arrived here — both the hard ones and the good ones.

What keeps me here?

The thoughts, feelings, or circumstances keeping you in this state — helpful or unhelpful.

What takes me out of here?

The things that shift you — big or small, internal or external.

Step 3 · Diffuse & Develop

Release and grow

Now consider what might help ease the tension and what you can learn from this moment. What do you need right now?

Diffuse

Let go of built-up tension using techniques that work for you — breathing, grounding, movement, or connection. Notice what you need right now and gently try a tool that feels manageable. You don’t have to force yourself to feel different; simply notice whether it helps.

Develop

Create your own personalised toolkit of techniques, activities and reminders. No two moments are exactly the same: some tools will help, some won’t, and something that doesn’t help today may help another day. That’s okay. Keep exploring gently, noticing what supports you and adapting your toolkit as you go.

Sharing the R.U.D Process®

The Polyvagal Institute Gathering 2026 · Sitges

I was grateful to have my research posters selected alongside those of other presenters at the Polyvagal Institute Gathering 2026 in Sitges. You’re welcome to explore the R.U.D Process® poster in your own time — a gentle introduction to nervous system awareness, reflection and regulation.

The R.U.D Process® and What’s My State? research posters displayed side by side on easels at the gathering

Our research posters

Yasmin Shaheen-Zaffar’s badge for the 2026 International Gathering in Sitges, with an orange Poster Presenter ribbon

Poster presenter badge

A screen displaying the Polyvagal Institute logo above two chairs and a small table at the conference venue

At the gathering

Create a free account to check in, save your reflections in My Journal, and build your personal Toolbox of techniques. The digital R.U.D Process® is free for everyone who joins.

Try the R.U.D Process® — free with an account

Take your next steady step

Your inner and outer world, mapped

Use your R.U.D Process® journal to explore what happened around you, what you noticed within yourself, and what helped. Each entry adds a colourful block to your calendar, helping you notice patterns over time.