How Do I Know What Support I Need? Resources, Courses, Memberships or One-to-One Therapy
In short: Start with how much your difficulties are affecting daily life, how long they've been going on, and what you want right now. Free resources and self-paced courses suit milder, recent difficulties and people who like learning on their own. A membership adds community and ongoing structure. One-to-one therapy suits longer-standing, complex or painful difficulties, and anyone who wants support shaped around them. You can combine them, and change as your needs change.
Where do I start?
You don't need to have it all worked out. Ask yourself three questions:
- How much is this affecting my life? Is it a background worry, or is it stopping you working, sleeping, connecting or enjoying things? Is it impacting your health or putting you or others at risk?
- How long has it been going on? A recent wobble is different from a pattern you've lived with for years.
- What do I want right now? Information, tools, company, or someone to really listen?
The NHS uses a similar idea, called stepped care: starting with the least intensive support that's likely to help, and stepping up if needed.
What are my options?
- Free resources (articles, podcasts, books, apps): good for understanding what you're going through and taking first steps. Less suited to long-standing or complex difficulties. Low commitment, at your own pace.
- Self-paced online course or programme: good for learning tools and building skills on a specific topic. Harder if your energy or motivation is low, or you need personal support. Medium commitment, set weeks or modules.
- Membership or group community: good for ongoing structure, feeling less alone and learning with others. Less suited to difficulties you don't want to share in a group. Ongoing, monthly.
- One-to-one therapy or counselling: good for complex, painful or long-standing difficulties, and support shaped around you. Regular sessions, often weekly.
When are resources or self-help enough?
Self-help can work well if your difficulties are mild, fairly recent and not stopping you living your life, and you feel you have the energy to work through material on your own.
It's also a gentle way to learn about something like ADHD, RSD or emotional dysregulation before deciding on more support or even during one to one support. Our blog and free resources are a good place to begin.
When is a self-paced course or programme a good fit?
A course suits you if you like structure, want practical tools on one topic, and prefer to learn in your own time. Many neurodivergent people like being able to pause, rewatch and go at their own speed.
It may be harder if your energy is very low, or you need someone to talk things through with. Do your energy maths: what is this asking of you, and what do you have available right now?
What does a membership offer?
Memberships usually combine resources with community, such as group sessions, live Q&As or a forum.
They suit people who want ongoing support at a lower cost than one-to-one therapy, and who find it helps to know others share similar experiences. Sometimes, just hearing "me too" makes a difference.
When is one-to-one therapy the right choice?
Consider one-to-one counselling if:
- Your difficulties are affecting work, relationships, sleep or daily life
- They've been going on for a long time, or keep coming back
- You're dealing with trauma, grief, identity questions or complex family dynamics
- Self-help hasn't been enough, or stirs up more than you can manage alone
- You want support shaped around you, your culture, your faith and your neurotype
Can I combine different kinds of support?
Yes. Many people use resources between therapy sessions, or move from therapy to a course or membership to keep going. There's no single right path, and you can change direction.
Frequently asked questions
Is self-help as effective as therapy?
For some mild, recent difficulties, guided self-help can work well. For complex or long-standing difficulties, one-to-one therapy usually offers more.
What if I still don't know what I need?
That's normal. Try Finding My Starting Point: answer a few short questions and we'll suggest where to begin. You can also send me a message via my website and we can think it through, with no obligation to book.
What if I need help urgently?
None of these options is crisis support. See the crisis information below.
How I can help
I'm Yasmin Shaheen-Zaffar, a BACP-accredited counsellor working online across the UK and internationally, specialising in neurodivergence and multi-heritage and mixed-faith identity. I offer different levels of support, so you can start where it feels right and move between them as your needs change.
- To learn and work through things at your own pace: my self-paced programmes. Finding My Steady: Families and Parents is for parents, and Finding My Steady: Adulting and Intimate Relationships is for couples and anyone working on adult life and close relationships.
- Ongoing support to stay steady, with less overwhelm: The Steady Club, my monthly membership. It includes weekly group drop-ins, for people who've already started understanding themselves and want regular support to manage dysregulation and overwhelm in everyday life.
- Support shaped entirely around you: one-to-one or couples counselling. Online talking and creative counselling, from £75 for 60 minutes.
Not sure which is right? Get in touch and we can work it out together.
Read next: A Short Guide to Therapy: What It Is, Who It's For and How to Start · How to Choose a Counsellor: 10 Questions to Ask Before You Book · Do I Need an ADHD or Autism Diagnosis to Get Therapy?