How to Choose a Counsellor: 10 Questions to Ask Before You Book
In short: Look for a counsellor who is properly trained and registered, has worked with what you're bringing, and feels like someone you could actually talk to. You're allowed to ask questions before you book. These 10 will help you decide.
What should I look for in a counsellor?
Three things matter most. Safe practice. Relevant experience. And a relationship that feels safe enough to be honest in.
That last one isn't a nice extra. Research keeps finding that the relationship between you and your therapist is one of the strongest predictors of whether therapy helps. (but not the only) So if you notice you feel heard, or you don't, take that seriously. It's information.
10 questions to ask a counsellor
- Are you registered with a professional body? In the UK, look for membership of the BACP, UKCP or NCPS. You can check the public registers online.
- What training and qualifications do you have? Accreditation (such as BACP Accredited) shows further assessed experience.
- Have you worked with people facing something similar? For example, ADHD, autism, RSD, identity or relationship difficulties.
- What's your approach, and what would sessions look like? Ask whether sessions are mostly talking, or include creative expression or walk and talk therapy.
- How do you work with culture, faith and identity? You deserve a counsellor who welcomes all of you, not just the parts that are easy to explain.
- How do you adapt sessions for different needs? For example, camera off, written summaries or breaks.
- How long are sessions, and how much do they cost? Ask about 60 and 90 minute options and any concessions.
- What's your cancellation policy? Know the notice period and any charges.
- Do you offer online sessions, and can I join from abroad? Check the platform and time zones.
- How will we review how it's going? A good counsellor checks in with you regularly.
You don't need to ask all ten. Pick the two or three that matter most to you right now.
Does my counsellor need to share my background?
Not always. What matters is that they understand, or are genuinely willing to learn about, your culture, faith and neurotype. You shouldn't have to spend your sessions educating them.
If you're multi-heritage, in a mixed-faith relationship or neurodivergent, ask directly how they work with that. Notice how they answer, not only what they say.
What if I don't click with my counsellor?
It's normal to need two or three sessions to settle. Starting something new can feel awkward, and that's okay.
If it still doesn't feel right, say so. Sometimes that conversation is the very thing that helps. If it doesn't, it's okay to find someone else. You're not being difficult. You're looking for the right fit.
For some people, saying so is the hardest part. Telling me might feel risky, as if you could upset or offend me, or end up in "trouble". If that's you, that's useful information too. Often, the patterns that show up in therapy are the same ones that show up in everyday life, so noticing them here gives us something gentle to work with.
Frequently asked questions
What's the difference between a counsellor and a psychotherapist?
In the UK, the terms overlap. What matters most is training, registration and fit.
Should I contact a counsellor before booking?
Yes, if it helps. Many counsellors welcome questions by message, and some offer a short call, so you can get a feel for them before committing. You can send me a message via my website.
About me
I'm Yasmin Shaheen-Zaffar, a BACP-accredited counsellor (MBACP Accred). I offer online talking and creative counselling for individuals and couples across the UK and internationally, specialising in neurodivergence and multi-heritage and mixed-faith identity. Individual sessions are £75 for 60 minutes or £110 for 90 minutes. Send me a message via my website to talk about what you're looking for.
Read next: What Happens in Your First Counselling Session? · Neurodivergent-Affirming Therapy: Support Before, During or After Diagnosis · Counselling for Multi-Heritage and Mixed-Race Identity · How Do I Know What Support I Need? Resources, Courses, Memberships or One-to-One Therapy