What Happens in Your First Counselling Session?
In short: Your first counselling session is mostly about getting to know each other. We agree the practical side, talk about what's brought you, and think about what you'd like to change. You don't have to tell your whole story at once, and you stay in charge of what you share.
What happens before the first session?
If you have questions first, you can send me a message via my website. When you're ready, you'll book and pay securely online and get a confirmation email with your Zoom link.
You'll also create an account, where all your appointments are listed and you can book further sessions whenever you wish. You can message me within the app too. We send email reminders before sessions, but keep them to a minimum.
Before your first session, it can help to:
- Find a private, comfortable space where you won't be overheard
- Check your internet, camera and sound beforehand
- Have water, tissues and anything that helps you feel settled
- Jot down anything you want to mention, if that helps
You don't need to do all of these. Pick what fits.
What do we talk about?
We start with the practical things, called contracting: confidentiality and its limits, session times, fees and cancellations.
Then I'll ask what's brought you to counselling, what's happening in your life, and what you hope might be different. I may also ask how you like to communicate, and anything that would help sessions feel comfortable.
Do I have to talk about everything straight away?
No. You decide what to share and when.
It's fine to say, "I'm not ready to talk about that yet." Trust takes time, and it's built in small moments.
What questions can I ask?
As many as you like. For example:
- How do you work, and what might sessions look like?
- How do you use creative expression?
- How will we know if it's helping?
- What happens if I need to cancel?
How might I feel afterwards?
People often feel relieved, tired, emotional or a bit unsettled. Sometimes a mixture. All of these are normal.
Try to give yourself some quiet time after the session, if you can.
Frequently asked questions
Can I keep my camera off?
Yes. Some people prefer camera off or using the chat, especially at first. We can find what works for you.
How long is the first session?
The same as other sessions: 60 or 90 minutes, depending on what you book.
What if I get nervous and go blank?
That's very common, and it doesn't mean you're doing it wrong. We can slow down, take a pause, or use a creative prompt to get started.
Ready to take the first step?
I'm Yasmin Shaheen-Zaffar, a BACP-accredited counsellor offering online talking and creative counselling for individuals and couples across the UK and internationally. Book a session or send me a message via my website to talk about what you're looking for.
Read next: How to Get the Most Out of Therapy · How to Choose a Counsellor: 10 Questions to Ask Before You Book · A Short Guide to Therapy: What It Is, Who It's For and How to Start